--> The groundbreaking newshound Huffington Post today put forth
their stunningly well-researched list of “20 Burlesque Stars To Know And Their
Wildest Signature Acts.” It was the single greatest honor of my career – nay,
of my life - to be included on this absolutely
complete, up-to-date, and non-geographically-biased compilation. In fact, I’m
planning on killing myself tomorrow as anything that follows cannot but be a
miserable and feeble, pale imitation of the glories that it has been my
singular privilege to taste.
To save you the trouble of looking it up yourself (and to
keep their page count if possible in the single digits), I include below the
particularly thorough “blurb” (like the list itself, the blurb is one of the
greatest boons to incisive reporting) that accompanied my own modest entry:
Nasty Canasta
Known for: Being one half of a burlesque power couple
along with husband Johnny Porkpie, until they called it quits. Luckily the two
were together long enough to found Pinchbottom Burlesque, one of the city's
most ingenious burlesque spots.
Signature acts: Performing as her alter-ego Kobayashi
Maru, an android creature.
Based in: New York City
I will say this for them: They sure did get my city of
residence right.
I mean, what independent artist with nearly a decade of
experience, international recognition, and a full-time solo career as both a
performer and a producer wouldn’t want
to be known exclusively for ‘having been married to some guy?’ And who wouldn’t
be thrilled that – several years after their divorce – that guy still
gets equal mention in her press? And that
the only link in that press is to the company that they co-founded, that she
was forced out of, and that has produced no original work since she left? That
alone is an artist’s dream.
(Although. As the official history of that show would
have it that I made no substantial contribution to the theme, creation or content of those
productions other than having happened to be cast in them, and as my name and likeness
have been Photoshopically removed from images, videos,
and works of fiction thereunto associated, it occurs that the “reporter” who “wrote” this
“article” actually had to do a modicum of research … and that this is pretty much the only place in print that actually acknowledges
my equal contribution in the creation of this show. (And, hey – incompleteness, lazy research
and geographic bias aside, it’s a fucking fantastic lineup of legitimately amazing
performers.) So score one for you, Random Bloglist That No One Outside Of The
Burlesque Profession Really Cares About At All.)
My parents split up in the late 1970’s. My schools wouldn’t
let my mother sign permission slips or pick me up after class with a different
last name from mine; she was advised that business associates would be
‘confused’ and her career would suffer if she went back to her maiden name. And
so she’s been stuck with her ex-husband’s name for over three decades now.
The idea that in 2012 anyone should see fit to define an
independent female artist with a legitimate solo career exclusively by a past
relationship (professional or personal or both) is just … really dumb. Even in
a top-20-list situation.
