Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Ask The Experts: Alfred Bennett

--> “In 1868 a burlesque, The Merry Zingara, by W.S. Gilbert – a skit on The Bohemian – was produced at the Royalty with a bevy of attractive girls – there were pretty girls in every burlesque but they had to be clever ones as well, not merely manikins …

Burlesques were parodies on plays or stories, written in ten-syllable rhymed lines which, in harmony with the accepted wit of the day, abounded in puns and whimsicalities and were interspersed with songs, choruses and dances borrowed from opera, music-hall or other sources. The music was never original. The hero was always a girl, and there was often a female character depicted by a man, in which respects the wont and usage of pantomime were closely followed …

Incongruities were frequent in burlesque and puns were sometimes more than verbal. For instance, in Burnand’s Paris, Orion was got up as an Irishman with knee-breeches and shillelagh, spoke with a brogue and was called O’Ryan – “the only Irish constellation in the skies.” Topical allusions likewise abounded …

A few specimen lines will show at what our fathers deigned to laugh in their hours of ease. This excerpt from Paris was rendered funny by the makeup and delivery of the speaker, a man in female disguise:

            “Last night he smiles on me, my husband do,
            And says ‘I’m going out.’ Says I, ‘Where to?’
            Says he, which ain’t polite, ‘What’s that to you?’
            ‘Nothing to me,’ I says, ‘I only ask;
            Of course, if ‘ollow ‘arts will wear a mask,
            Then, as the poet says, the time will be
            When, hubby darling, you’ll remember me.’”

… A verse from a set called “What’s a burlesque?” contributed by W.S. Gilbert to one of the magazines, may perhaps fitly wind up this sketch of a by-gone amusement:

            “Pretty princess – beautiful dress:
            Exquisite eyes – wonderful size:
            Dear little dress (couldn’t be less)
            Story confused – frequently used:
            Sillified pun – clumsily done.
                        Dresses grotesque.
                        Girls statuesque.
                        Scene picturesque –
                        That’s a burlesque!” ”

--Alfred Rosling Bennett, London & Londoners In The 1850’s & 1860’s (1924)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013: A Look Behind

--> Remember: Our job is terribly profound and meaningful and not at all silly or frivolous and it is vitally important to take every aspect of it very very seriously at all times.



2014 ain't gonna grab itself by the balls, people. Let's get on this thing.

Friday, December 20, 2013

MEMO: Pls call to resched. your appt w/Human Resources Dept.

--> 2013 Year-End Performance Review: Self-Evaluation
(With thanks to the several naff business-form-online sites that provided inspiration and/or wording.)


This Self Evaluation form is an opportunity for you to provide input into your Performance Review Process.* The form assists you in focusing on specific aspects of your job performance, including your unique strengths, talent and development focus for the future.

The good news is that as an independent performer or producer (or kitten, or costumer, or whatever the hell you are) you will not be required to show up to some dreary fluorescent-lit corporate hell-hole at 7 a.m. so an MBA fifteen years your junior can mouth businessspeak at you off of a checklist while you try desperately not to swear or say “boobs.” Rather, your personal Performance Review Process can be conducted naked in your living room with a bottle of wine in one hand and a different bottle of wine in the other - what’s important is that you take a moment for a little quiet professional and artistic reflection, as the year draws to a close (why not).

To that end, I invite you to use the following form as a starting point; not to share with anyone or the general public (unless you want to), not to obsess over and spend hours crafting essay-answers for (again, unless that’s your jam), but simply to help start the process of taking stock of your past year, professionally and artistically, and looking forward to the next.

And if I did the internet right, you can even print it out. If that kind of thing turns you on.


* Well, actually, no, it is the opportunity for your Performance Review Process. Being as we are in the relatively unique situation of a completely unregulated and non-hierarchical industry where any sort of professional criticism or feedback from peers, employers or consumers of our product (other than the frankly useless "OMG you are the gratest sooooooo pretty! Luv youuuuuuuuu!!!!") is highly likely to be automatically received as persecution, the only actual Performance Review Process in which any of us will participate has got to be self-initiated. 

And honestly attempted, too. Most of us fall to one absurd and unrealistic side or the other of “Well obviously the reason I don’t get booked is because no one can deal with how perfect and amazing I am and they should all go swallow glitter and die,” and “Well obviously the reason I don’t get booked is because I’m worthless and hideous and I should go swallow glitter and die.” Objectivity is difficult to maintain for us sensitive artist-types: I hear a lot of self-deprecating or frankly libelous reasons-why-I-don’t-get-booked (many of them, I am not happy to say, coming out of my own mouth) but very few honest-assessments-of-my-own-skill-level, pragmatic-understanding-of-my-uniqueness-and-marketability, or what-I-have-actually-done-to-get-that-job-beyond-“deserving”-it-and-waiting-for-it-to-come-to-me. 

About six months after I started performing I got a regular Saturday gig, go-go dancing from 1 to 3 a.m. at a venue that also happened to be the home of one of the only regular, highly-regarded burlesque shows in the city. One night I asked the booking manager when he was going to hire me for that show. Without malice, he replied “When you’re good enough.” I’m sure I looked as nonplussed as I felt, because he then explained: “Listen, you’ve been getting better but you’re still really new. Right now I couldn’t put you onstage next to Julie or Amber, but when you’re good enough, I will.”** 

I cannot imagine this conversation taking place today without the immediate indignant FaceTube post that Everyone DESERVES to get booked in EVERY SINGLE SHOW and no producer or booker should think that ANY PERSON is more experienced or skilled or that their particular style is more appropriate for a particular show than ANYONE ELSE and that guy deserves to be KILLED. 

Well okay, then. Until the format exists within a professional context for skilled, thoughtful feedback to be both given and received, *** it is up to us as individuals, and as working artists, to occasionally take stock of our work and our selves - as honestly and as dispassionately as possible, and without straying either into the Swamp of Self-Loathing or the Desert of Divadom. **** Because self-awareness is an invaluable thing: it can help us avoid everything from particularly unflattering styles of underwear to murderous depressive rage every time a show is announced that we’re not in. And most importantly, like a big giant multi-vitamin for the soul, it’s essential for healthy artistic growth.

 •••••

 SELF-EVALUATION FORM 
To be completed without pants.



• What is your job title?
Why do you use this title in particular? What does it say about what you do and about how you do it? 

• Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? What do you specifically contribute to your artform & profession that is unique or innovative? 

• What are you the most terrified to do, artistically speaking?
Have you ever done it?

• What is your greatest strength?
What do you do to capitalize on this strength?

• What is your greatest weakness?
What do you do to minimize the negative effects of this weakness?

• What single accomplishment, event or product from this past year are you most pleased with or proud of?

• What single event, action or product from this past year are you least pleased with or embarrassed by?


• What skill or talent would you like to add to your resumé?
Could you realistically learn or acquire this skill? If so, are you willing to expend the time and/or money that that would require?

• In the past year how (if at all) were you Part Of The Problem?
How were you Part Of The Solution?

• What is a single, achievable goal for the upcoming year?
What specific actions can you take to achieve this goal?

• What is one magic-wish, fairy-tale, genie-in-a-bottle totally-absurd-dream goal?
What’s one specific action you could actually take, now, in the actual real world to begin to achieve this goal? 

• How did this past year differ from your expectations?

• Where do you see yourself at the end of 2014? 


 •••••


** I am proud to say that eventually, I was, and eventually, he did.
*** I do not, I freely admit, know what that format ought best to be; nor do I have any interest in being the sole motivator or administrator of it so don’t ask, thank you.
**** Ugh, sorry about that.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A Thanksgiving Thought Of Sorts

--> One of the few perks of being a performer means never having to watch shows from the house. It's not just that I am totally incapable of not starting fights with audience douchebags who don't grasp the simple fact that because sound travels through space everyone around them can hear the vile and asinine things they're saying about the performers ... But ever since my first shows in the back rooms of East Village bars where the only place to watch the other performances was sort of squatting next to over where the curtain was taped to the wall, trying not to get stepped on by the host's 7-inch stilettos, hit by the bathroom door, or whacked in the wig by the occasional out-of-control shimmy belt, I have preferred our unique view-from-the-side-of-the-stage. The paying audience misses so many of my favorite parts of shows: the rainstick rattle of beaded fringe; the wordless conversations between stage and wings; the amazing focus of the most wonderfully engaged performers even when their faces are hidden or their backs are turned. 

Customers always ask if they can come backstage - imagining I suppose lightbulb-bordered dressing tables, headdress-clad dancers ballet-stretching in rooms full of the cheerful clutter of diamonds and feathers, the champagne-fueled wild debauchery of kissing-practice-pillow-fights. I suppose they don't need to actually experience the reality of six performers in a 10-foot-square unheated single-stall bathroom with one exposed bulb, all trying to put on makeup in half a stained mirror while the waitstaff walks through to the kitchen.

It's a small but delightful compensation that the view from there, anyway, is all our own.






Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Dollar Store Showgirl

--> Is there any part of this country yet left untouched by the magic of the dollar store? Be it the national Dollar Tree chain, the Crazy Dollar Daze! aisle of your local Legitimate Shopping Concern, or (my personal favorite) the random-mix-of-objects-involving-a-stunning-variety-of-languages-on-the-labels emporia that make up fully 89% of all retail establishments here in Brooklyn, these off-price-wonderlands are truly the costumer’s best friend.
  
Falling firmly as I do on the “It only has to look expensive” side of the fancy-ass-stripper debate,* I make frequent use of the dollar stores in my local habitat when crafting even the most classic costumes. Not to say that I don’t haunt the Garment District like a colorblind, bling-obsessed ghoul; but there are few projects wherein I fail to make use of something purchased for $1.08-with-tax, and more than a few that have been entirely created exclusively from an eyebrow-raising collection of off-price objects. 

Being such a frequent visitor to the half a dozen or so of the dollar stores of which I am most fond - The One With The Red Awning, The One Where The Radio Is Always Too Loud, The One That Doesn’t Have Votive Candles, The New One**, the DII (actual name) and The Other One – I’ve found that there are certain objects that I pick up over and over again, to wit:



The Most Useful Items The Dollar Store Has To Offer To The Professional Striptease Artist



• Sun Visors: No longer the exclusive property of old ladies in Florida grocery stores, the classic sun visor when inverted is the perfect base for most showgirl headdresses: lightweight, sturdy, comfortable, cut-able, glue-able, and often padded for comfort in just the right place, these seasonal buggers are worth their weight in Swarovskis. Since they disappear in the fall I snap them up by the dozen in the summer months. (As an added bonus, many visors now feature Engrish slogans and delightfully nonsensical illustrations!)


Actual visor slogans: "Sweet Day", "Say hello to the snow" and "Seeing you makes me h-" (rest of word hidden by feline Martin Scorsese.) (But I think we all know what it is.)

• Those Lacy Elastic Headbands You Put On Baby Girls Before They Have Enough Hair For Actual Barrettes And Stuff: Coincidentally, these innocent objects look a hell of a lot like garters – but at a much lower price than the average costume shop/stripper store/bridal salon charges for ten inches of frilly elastic, if the bachelorette party in the third row doesn’t give it back after the show it’s not the end of the world. Actually, I deliberately use these a lot as toss-into-the-audience pieces … whether or not you choose to remove the occasional pink teddy bear decoration first is a matter of personal taste.


And while we’re on the subject of stuff you don’t have to worry about getting back from the audience … 

• Cheap-Ass Pantyhose: Personally I like a good stocking peel during a floor show, though I’m crap at keeping track of where the damn things end up. Just snip the legs off these babies (leave about half an inch of control-top to keep the tops from rolling) and you have single-use, disposable stockings. 

It's a tropical wonderland.
• Fake-Ass Flowers: I love fake flowers; I always have. If I could, I’d cover my living room with the them, floor-to-ceiling - but since living in a shared space makes that less than ideal I’ve settled for covering costumes with them. There is certainly a time and a place for well-made, super-realistic blooms (Amber Ray’s gorgeous hair accessories, for example), but sometimes it’s a matter of quantity over quality and you just need a shit-ton of inexpensive plastic flowers to glue to stuff. When you snip off the stems the petals tend to come apart, but as long as you sew or glue all the layers together, dollar store flora are perfect for huge impactful splashes of color.

• Curtains: Although I’ve done it as a deliberate challenge***, I wouldn’t recommend using discount-store curtains as the base for sewing projects: they’re itchy, they’re stiff, they tend to unravel at seams, and usually they smell funny. But occasionally they’re just the right amount of gaudy, fringey or translucent to be incredibly useful as trains, veils or drapes.



Holy crap so much shiny.
• Holiday Decorations: Obviously, the dollar store is one of your first stops when putting together holiday-specific acts; but in the last few years my local Bastions of Cheapness have started featuring holiday ornaments and decorations in colors and degrees of blinginess that make for fabulous costume pieces any time of year. We’ve just entered the season of Glittery Things In Aqua, Turquoise, Hot Pink & Lime and I’m already stocking up on random ornaments, bows, stars and birdies to accessorize with in coming months. The Christmas and Easter seasons are great for bright colors and shiny or feathery things; New Years is lousy with glitter; Thanksgiving is perfect for stockpiling fake fruits and leaves; and Halloween – apart from the obvious creepy-themed items – is the time to bulk-purchase crappy boas (cut them up and use them as trim), cheap gloves, and light-up decorations that can be stripped for parts.



What are these even supposed to be? An awesome goddamned costume, that's what.
• Hula Hoops: Virtually useless for actual hooping (or so I’ve been told by those that hoop), cheapo hula hoops are perfect for building lightweight ‘skeletons’ for fabric structures, and can be used for hoop skirts and panniers in a pinch (or when steel boning isn’t available).

Dollar-store sewing challenge #1. Ingredients: Curtains, tablecloths, lace runners, hula hoops, bedsheets (bloomers), craft ribbon, party-favor beads, curtain tie-back tassels.


Behind every good headdress is a great visor.
• The Craft Supply, Jewelry, Hair Ornament, and (depending on where you live) Quinceañera-Favor Aisles: Although many of the items in these aisles aren’t useful on their own, they can provide great pieces for the base of projects: Styrofoam balls, clips and clasps, foam sheets, googly eyes galore, random bows and glittery things. 

• Party Tablecloths (Not technically a costume piece, but the single dollar-store item I purchase most frequently): The responsible stripper brings a tarp to cover the stage when making a wet, oily, painty or glittery mess; the fashionable, responsible stripper picks up a tablecloth from the dollar store party aisle in a color or pattern that compliments her or his costume. Bam.



Dollar-store sewing challenge #2: One more visor-based headdress, plus a curtain gown. (Bonus: attaching the two is a "flapper chain," aka the thing that makes your toilet flush. Hardware stores are just as much fun as dollar stores.) Photo by Francine Daveta

Ingredients: visor, flowers, sheer curtain. Photo: Emerson Vinyl
Several cautionary notes:
• While dollar-store nail polish is an excellent craft item, use it (and all discount cosmetics) advisedly on skin, hair and nails: that shit can burn, stain, or worse.
• Many items obtained at the Palace Of Low Prices retain a corresponding odor, something reminiscent of sugared petroleum. It's advisable to air such items out for a while before using them, and don't store them in closed bags or containers.
• Three tenths of the balloons in any given bag purchased in the Hey Ain't It Cheap! store will have factory-installed holes. This is to keep you on your toes. Plan ahead and buy an extra bag or two.
• Though fine for use as props, never never never eat anything from the dollar store.

•••••


* With frequent forays into the “let the costume serve the number” and “a two-thousand-dollar costume doesn’t automatically make a great act” camps, plus a permanent alliance with the House Of Not Every Costume Needs To Look Exactly Like Everyone Else’s.

** It’s been there for 8 years now.
Photo: Francine Daveta

*** I tend to craft as a grief-management mechanism; following the death of a close friend recently I found myself in desperate need of a project but with practically no materials at hand, and with no chance of getting to the Garment District before everything closed for the weekend. After a walk to the neighborhood discount store, $25 in curtains, cheap underwear and craft trim (plus some scraps from the studio fabric bin), and 10 hours of Dr. Dre on Spotify, this was born. (Ironically, the hair flower is one of Amber's actual legit pieces of art.)

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Ask The Experts: Dawn Powell

--> "For the first time it came home to her how comfortably she had counted on reputation to make up for minor personal disappointments. A crutch, a cushion, a veil, a safety net for all missteps, that knowledge of work recognized and admired whether she was old or young. Without it she felt vulnerable and exposed, a woman in her thirties whom no one knew, an everyday woman with no protection of love or fame, with no banner to bear but that of pleading mistress begging for a crumb. Left standing unnoticed for a moment it struck her how soft and spoiled she was, never venturing on any path that was not especially paved for her, innocently astonished that the paving could wear out and torches on dark corners would not be lit.” 

— Dawn Powell, The Locusts Have No King (1948)

Friday, March 1, 2013

Butts and Rebutts (Mostly Butts)

--> When I co-produced my first sci-fi themed burlesque show in 2005, we had difficulty finding enough extant acts to fill the bill and ended up commissioning or creating half of them; now, in 2013, "nerdlesque" is a thriving sub-genre of its own with dozens of dedicated shows around the world, and has already profoundly affected the art form of burlesque.

The Lady Aye recently published an article on BurlesqueBeat.com, “Some Thoughts On Nerd Burlesque,” which sparked lively discussion amongst burlesque professionals in general and geeklesque performers in particular. The following is a somewhat edited version of a personal email that I wrote as part of that discussion. The Lady Aye very eloquently spoke to many points I’ve been striving to articulate for some time, and so this is not so much a ‘rebuttal’ to her piece as an expansion on it, with some thoughts of my own.
•••

First off, I have to say I've known Aye for a long time, and have had many a thoughtful discussion with her over the years about 'where all this is going' and the potential for burlesque to transcend the tiny-hat-and-corset model (especially when it seemed that was the only option out there). Now that geeklesque is a huge percentage of all neo-striptease performances, it's natural - and valuable - that the discussion is shifting from 'Is that even burlesque?' to the nuances and specifics of this type of performance. After all, it's been a major discussion in the 'straight' (ie non-geeklesque) genre for ages.

So I found The Lady Aye’s article overall very supportive of geeklesque: urging geeklesque performers to strive to transcend their 'source material' says very clearly that we can be as transcendent in our performances as any other kind of burlesque act (rather than geeklesque only being throwaway pop-culture reference).

I would argue (and I’m not the first to make this point – see Sailor St. Claire’s article in Burlesque Seattle Press, for example) that all burlesque is “cosplay” in some sense, and therefore could - must - benefit from a similar self-scrutiny: how does that fan dance / stocking peel / classic strip to 'Feeling Good' contribute to the dialogue and transcend the source material (Gypsy Rose Lee, the 1940's, the male gaze, etc., etc.) here, now, in 2013? The fact that geeklesque gets singled out more in this respect is, I think, simply because we're now reaching beyond the established vocabulary of burlesque (tassel-twirling, fan dance) and adding new 'words' to that 'vocabulary’ – for the same reason, boylesque has sparked a similar discussion over recent years, too.

The fact is, geeklesque does use other people's material (characters, costume designs, games, plots) as jumping-off points for new performance. There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself - it has led to some of the most exciting, innovative, delightfully transgressive burlesque performances that I've ever seen. But just like "I put on a pretty dress and a pretty song and took off my pretty dress and I was wearing pasties" isn’t necessarily adding to the discussion, "I put on a Dr. McCoy costume and a song about Star Trek and took off my Dr. McCoy costume and I was wearing Star Trek pasties" says nothing new, either.

The only reason that the geeklesque version gets more focus in this respect (and rightly so) is that no one can really say for certain who 'invented' striptease; but we know that Dr. McCoy is Gene Roddenberry's artistic creation - and to co-opt it without any commentary seems to border on … maybe plagiarism isn't quite the right word, but something like that. I've retired numbers myself that were basically stripping-out-of-a-costume, simply because I wasn't comfortable with the idea of just using the character and doing nothing with it.

It's what marks the difference between dress-like-the-character, strip-to-the-theme-song numbers and (for example) Mary Cyn's “Data” act, B.B. Heart's Dementor, Anja Keister’s Dolores Umbridge, and lots of others. Likewise, it's what makes shows like The Pink Room, D20 Burlesque and the like actual unique experiences beyond "We like nerdy stuff!” And it’s important to acknowledge that there are performers and producers who are striving, going beyond, carefully crafting geeklesque numbers and shows that are thoughtful and provocative and funny and sexy and really hit the spot with geek- and non-geek audiences … and to keep pushing ourselves to go further in those directions with our work.

The Lady Aye’s article touches as well on the idea of wide appeal: "Would this act translate to an audience of the uninitiated? If not, then perhaps your focus is too narrow and you should think of ways to let the audience in."  This is, ultimately, the performer's choice: but for me personally as both performer and spectator, the most successful and satisfying geeklesque numbers are the ones that require minimal-to-no previous familiarity with the source material, where the specific elements are Easter Eggs for the initiated but I don't feel like a total idiot for not getting any of the act (again: Data, Dolores Umbridge - these are stories that any audience will understand, whether or not they know of Data's 8-season character arc about finding his humanity, or the nuanced depths of Dolores' sadism etc. etc. It's all in the acts.) If one is creating an act for a show based on, say, one specific episode of a particular cartoon series - and the show is being presented as such, and cultivating an audience of fans of that cartoon series - then why not add as many tiny in-depth nods and references as you like? With, of course, the understanding that in a wider context (a 'general' burlesque show, or even a 'general' geeklesque show) those specific references might pass by much of the audience. It's all about understanding what acts to bring to what shows, which is a skill we all learn pretty quickly (hopefully).

The fact that geeklesque is being discussed ‘as if it were real burlesque’ is amazing and hugely important, given the fact that 6 or 7 years ago the reaction to, say, my (long-retired) Tron number was befuddlement and 'That's not burlesque.' Whether it's our primary performance focus or not, enough of us now put enough time, effort, talent, intelligence, and thoughtful critique into our geeklesque acts/shows that it's starting to show up the lazy and un-thought-out geeklesque acts just as well-crafted and expertly-presented 'classic' burlesque has always highlighted the 'I bought a corset! I'm the next Dita!' acts. Part of being a permanent and legit genre within the art form is going to include more critique and discussion and - as long as it's in non-troll form - that's only a good thing.